Friday, December 30, 2016

To ring in the new year with a bang or a gong

To go out with a bang or not too.  This year I think it will be a quiet night at my house.  I have no desire to go out and ring in the new year.  Every place will be busier than usual and people will be sloppy drunk.  Oh hell, they could even be sloppy sober too depending on where you go.  Sometimes going to bars and such is actually funny.  People start drinking and they get stupid or emotional.  They are swinging from the ceiling, while hugging and kissing each other.  Then someone will be walking through the bar naked and no one blinking an eye at it because they are laying on the drinking their drinks and counting the elephants that go by yelling out that they don’t use dildos or vibrators.  Because the real thing is better.

The dolphins will come walking by in their tuxedos and their prom dresses throwing confetti and sprinkles at everyone.  Fairies will come by and use their fairy dust to pick it all up and send it out to the moon for the moon creatures to use as farming material and to make the moon sparkle and shine in the sunlight.  They are always grateful for this as being on a moon with nothing is kind of boring.

So with all that going on I will be on the couch eating pizza and drinking Champagne and watching some mindless TV.  I won’t have to drive anywhere or worry as the walk from the couch to the bedroom is 50-60 feet.  Who could beat that?  I can Face-time with family and friends and have just as a good time if we were out and in the same town. I doubt any ducks will be waddling through my apartment with a rain jacket and an umbrella.  If they do I’ll be sure to snap a picture after I ring the gong.

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