Monday, October 31, 2016

Happy Halloween-The Halloween Letter

Billy Bob has taken his comedy tour back out to the depths of the ocean.  Literally, he has been entertaining the sharks, shrimp, and seaweed across the oceans.  He even has a great following in the Antarctic Ocean.  His sister Ursula has finally has had success with her crops on her orange farm in Alaska.  The oranges look like tire wheels, the turnips and Brussel sprouts are shaped like q-tips.  The only way to tell what they are is by the color. 

The twins, Agnes and Augustus have been doing great with the butterflies and roses in Antarctica.  They are in full color now and the penguins and seals are now running thru the fields of roses chasing butterflies.  They also love that they can also get their hair done and their cars repairs since the twins have finished their online classes. 

Buck the golden retriever is still going strong with his fish grooming business.  He has hired more fish and some fleas to help him groom on Mars and has also opened a shop on Pluto.

Skippy the Iguana has given up his garbage and recycle project in space.  He has decided to go the moon and help the man on the moon process cheese to send to other galaxies since they appear to love moon cheese.

The dirt farm has been a wonderful investment.  People from all over the universe have come to get the dirt and flour that I produce.  Some use it for their projects to build space ships and snowmen.  Others want it to start their own dirt farms.  All in all it is working out.

Now I’m off to chase the fuzzy bunnies and chairs to make sure they are joining the circus or the underwater gymnastics team.

Monday, October 24, 2016

She-Crab soup and texting

I have an uncle who loves She-Crab soup.  Every time he visits my mom and step-father he eats it about every day he's there.  So while I was visiting my mom asked I take a picture and send it to him. I was OK but I don't have his number so I'll send it to the aunt to show him.  So I sent it to the aunt and my mom.  So the aunt comes back with this doesn't make any sense Missy.  I was like that doesn't sound like how the aunt talks,  Then I noticed I sent it to the wrong aunt.  Opps..Just another blonde moment.

Monday, October 17, 2016

Good thing I can post these here

Some days duct tape cannot fix stupid.  Then they should just be fired or shipped off to space.

What’s the point of a debate if one person is going to mudsling causing the other to defend themselves and mudsling back?

Keep talking softly, so I have to ask you to repeat yourself multiple times.  Then I’ll talk softer so you don’t know if I’m talking at all.

The presidential race would be more interesting if it was like TV shows survivor or big brother.  Last person standing wins.

Yes, I have a sparkling personality that has a weird, dry sense of humor.  If you don’t like it then suck donkey balls.

You want normal please leave the planet and visit Uranus.

Come on people the shirt only comes in 1 color why are you so indecisive on the colors?  Take or leave it.

The hard drive in my brain is full please and it is not accepting any more drama or bullshit.

Really, you just started working here Ms. Know-It-All.  So zip it. Thanks!

Friday, October 14, 2016

The things that pop into my head

Oh peeps the brain isn't working. I think there are some gold fish swimming in my head. I wonder if they'd like a steak dinner.

Rode my hamster wheel aka the bike and wouldn't you know it 7 four year olds passed me. And they were only walking.

If only I could wear a long skirt and a big blouse with a lot of necklaces and bracelets. Then add the big 80's hair. What a great look that would be?  I could be leader of the 80's gypsies.

Yep I can blink my eyes and make stuff happen. You can't see it because it's in my head.

Now where did I leave my eyes?

Who thought getting my ears pierced 5 times was a good idea. I should have pierced my hair 5 times.

Blue mascara was awesome. I need to find it so I can wear it with my skirt and big blouse.

So if the world is round do we really walk straight?

If the world was flat would there be a fence to stop things from falling off the edge?

One day the one blonde brain cell will multiply.  When it does watch out something stupid funny may happen.

The fish have moved on to a new fishbowl.  Maybe more blond brain cells will multiply since the fish are gone.

Purple cats don't like to be chased by lime green monkeys.

I do not think I have ever seen a purple cat, unless it fell into a pitcher of grape Kool aide.

Blinking my eyes does not make magic happen, it is done with my nose.

I'm very adorable and cuddly. Just ask the willow tree over there.

Saying, go suck donkey balls, is a lot funnier to say then go to hell.

When I buy a new car I think it should be bubble wrapped for the first year.

Good thing about having an elephant in your house making a mess, he can also clean it up by knocking it down.

Heads have enough holes in them to be bowling balls.  Just take some sandpaper and sand down the nose and ears.

One word meow, it must be a pretty boring conversation.

Nah, I'm not strange I'm eccentric and I'm fine with it.

Does an elephant get another trunk when he goes on vacation or does he pack the one he has?

There are monkeys are in my head eating popcorn and watching movies.

Stop sucking my blood you vampire. You have your own so drink it.

My DVR is hoarding the TV show Hoarders. I think it needs an intervention.

Ever see an ant and an elephant play leapfrog. Me neither.

I have so much sparkle that when I fart, I fart sparkles.

Purple sparkles come out when I blow my nose.

Sparkles, Sparkles, and more sparkles.  They make everything prettier.

The ant and elephant playing leapfrog is still on tour.

There’s a new tour of the year, a bee and a horse singing a duet.

I think there should be a tour of bees buzzing.  I’m sure they have some good hits.

Thursday, October 6, 2016

I have been in space working. Not!

If only I was in space working, I'd probably enjoy it more.  With the way the earthlings have been maybe they should be in space.  They have been so cranky that even duct tape cannot fix it and that fixes most anything.  At least in my mind it does.  If you have to be cranky then lock yourself in your house and eat a tub of ice cream like the rest of us do.  Now if your ass is lactose intolerant then find something else like a hamburger. But calm the crap down people.

Thank you and have a great day.