Tuesday, January 3, 2017
The after effects of the holidays and winter
Ah the joys of a new year and all the after effects of the holiday: the bills, the weight gain, the family fights. Not to mention being off of your schedule because of days off and shortened work days. Then you get back to normal and your like what the heck I want to be off. It’s a tug of war that sucks donkey balls. Then you start making new year’s resolutions that last maybe the entire month of January, like going to the gym. You sign up and start going only to find that its packed because everyone has had the same idea. You stop going without realizing that if you just hung on to that treadmill a little longer the gym would clear out after a month and you have your choice of bikes and the regulars would have gotten used to you by now and not giving you the look of death.
Then comes the winter blues. You are tired of being stuck in the house because there is 25 feet of snow blocking your door. The only way to dig out is with a teaspoon and you have no place to put the snow other than the kitchen sick because it can melt down the drain. You try this for about a week only to realize its faster to let it melt naturally because using a vibrator only creates a pile of snow in the house and you don’t have enough batteries to go past the porch. When it all finally melts you are like Yippee and start running around like a crazy person with your hands over your head. Then comes the lawn mowing and the lawn is super long and green from the 60 feet of snow that was on top of it. It’s one big party year after year or one be whine fest with cheese.