To have kids or not to

So I am a middle aged woman who has never had kids.  Don’t get me wrong kids can be a joy and a lot of fun. But to have something the size of a watermelon come out of me is as appealing as a root canal.  Not to mention they are a ton of work.  When they first leave a warm and cozy place they land in a cold bright room and are screaming from the moment they arrive.  They cannot feed or change themselves, this makes them needy.  Then they start rolling over, crawling, and move on to running.  They never stop at that point.  The house needs to be child proof since they will eat anything including the dog food from the dog’s bowl.  Once they start talking they never stop with the questions.  The most popular is “Why” and then as they get older its “Why not” or “Why can’t I”?  Once you get through all the dating issues and collage you are dead ass broke.  Plus, you realize you have not slept more than 3 hours since they are born.  They wake you up when they are little to eat and be changed.  Then it’s nightmares when they are older and when they are teenagers you are worried they are in a ditch or in a lake even though the closet lake is 500 miles away.  While there are some joys to having kids like the grandchild they may give you one day or seeing their accomplishments, I have come to realize I am dead ass broke without having kids and I am too tired to do anything from working 2 jobs. So to all those parents who think we are having one big party because some of us don’t have kids, think again.  I’m partying in my head while I’m working.