Joys of dating AKA having a f-buddy

Well the boy toy has been around for almost 2 months.  Not sure if that's what he should be called but it's not like we talked about.  Plus, a mutual friend started saying somethings like he's a player like he was years ago.  I was like I know what I'm getting into and he knows if he puts it in someone else then no more for him.  I do have some limits.  This isn't the first time she said shit when I started with someone we both knew.  The last one lasted 17 years so there's that.  Not that I expect anything to last that long but there's always hope.

So for the time being I am entitled to have some fun in the sack.  What?! Guys do it all the time.  How does anyone know I'm not the player here but I could be.  Plus, no one knows where anything will go.

I think I got lost

 I think I got lost in the past few months.  I have been working and hanging at home.  Oh wait I lied.  My friend set me up with someone from like 20 years ago.  It was someone that she and another friend met while going to a dance club.  Due to my work schedule at the time I only went on ladies night on Wednesday.  I barely remember him.  Probably because said friend was getting it on with him back in the day. 

Well for the past few weeks we have seen a lot of each other.  Funny thing was that I wanted to get back together with my ex from high school or someone like him.  Well I got what I wanted.  Someone like him.  So time will tell if it will work.  It is hard not to rush this but I don't want to spook either one of us or the purple monkey running around.

Till next time

Welcome to September

 It feels like just yesterday that I was in the hospital getting Kyle the cyst out.  It was actually January 5 and now it's September 9th,  I did start a liquid diet to support one of the bestie sisters who's having the gastric sleeve surgery.  I last a day and a half.  Yes 1.5 days, I had to eat something.  So it has been 9 days and I have lost weight.  She had built up to the liquid diet.  Me nope.  I went straight for it.  But know that I have adjusted I am replacing 2 meals with shakes and jello for snacks and 1 small meal.  At Costco I did get a big salad, grapes, hummus, and peppers.  So that will be what I am eating.  I figure as long as I am staying in my calorie range with what I am doing I can stil support the bestie sister.

Till next time.

Seat warmers aka butt warmers and door dash

Yea so not only do accidentally turn on the butt warmer in the car, but I turn on the passenger seat one when I am out Door Dashing.  I haven't received my warming bag yet since I just started.  What I need to do something to keep the food warm.  Ok the bottom of the bag.  What you don't want food?  Well maybe not tipping the monkey in sky would help you with that.  The fish may deliver it when you realize there are elephants in your front yard playing with space dust.  What it could happen.  I mean there's you not tipping so the alligator riding the ferris wheel at the end of the block can stay.

Bun warmer in the summer

Yesterday I had a taste for ice cream.  So I went out and headed towards downtown St Charles, IL.  I stopped along the way and did come Pokemon hunting when my ass was getting warm.  I was like I have the ice maker going so I wasn't sure why my dough was getting warm.  Then I realized I bumped the seat warmer when I was heating up the ice burg I was driving.  Yea I always use the butt warmer when its 87 outside.  I have to be reminded once in awhile my halo is held up by horns.

Working remote vs in the office

 So this past week i was in Iowa for work.  It was the first time I have been in the office since I started at the end of November last year.  I am so grateful I work remote.  All the distractions and the drive into the office was making me batty.  I did get some training on the new software we are moving too.  I also realize I want to go in more often just for the connections and to feel like I am part of the team.

I did miss being able to walk to the pool after work.  But I survived and didn't go running through the sprinklers for the corn fields.  That could be fun.  Well maybe not the sharp leaves and the children of the corn.

Til next time peace out.

To Whom It May Concern: Jackasses/Karens

Just because you don't like something means you have to get it banned or cancel culture it.  There is such a thing as blocking things on social media.  YES jackasses and Karens that is a thing.  Is it really that hard to do.  For the rest of us no its not.  Because causing a shit show on social media is a ton of work for us normal people.  But for you people its very easy to cause a shit show and dumpster fire on social media.  It's almost like a talent that you were born with.  I for one was not born with that talent and I didn't major in it when I went to college.

I don't care what you were or live.  As long as your nice and respectful I'm good,  If your not then I'll walk away and leave it at that.  I'm not gonna blast you all over internet and the universe.  Because in the universe there are only aliens and space garbage.  So I'm sure they'd love to hear about how yogurt is too sexy to be sold or that ice cream catches the house on fire.

Do you all need more monkeys with your circus?   Have it and you can take all mine.

Childhood of the 80s

 Growing up in the 70's and 80's was a great time.  My mom was a stay at home mom as well as my aunt.  My dad and uncle were in sales so they traveled.  That meant my mom and aunt were home with 2 kids each.  My parents got a pool and aunt and cousins would come over and we'd swim all day.  Mom and aunt didn't like getting splashed and would chase us around until we promised not to splash.  Yup you guessed it, it lasted a whole half a second before we splashed.  Half way through the summer they gave up chasing us and went on the roof of the garage.  By then they were slightly nuts being home all summer so once they dads were pulling on the street the moms were gone yelling out the window feed the kids.  That usually meant we were eating breakfast for dinner or ice cream. 

Go camping they say, It'll be fun.

As a kid in the 1970's and 1980's we did a lot things that we loved and things that made us miserable.  For me and my cousins that was camping.  Our parents thought it would be a could idea to buy a used pop up camper.  They told us it'll be fun.  Keep in mind there were 4 of kids, 3 girls and 1 boy.  So picture it 4 adults and 4 kids in 1 camper.

At first we were like crazy maniacs running around the campground.  One trip us kids rent these 2 big tricycles and and we are riding around the campground and we were like 6, 8 and 10.  Just what the campground needed.  My poor cousin had a boil in the worst place, her butt.  So the whole bike ride she's laughing and yelling that she's pain.

Then a year later we all load up in 2 cars and leave for Disney World, camping along the way,  This was the trip that the cousin with the boil sat on her glasses.  Our dads always had duct tape with them.  Good thing her glasses were silver.  It was the same trip that we were swimming in a pool and I farted.  Well I thought i farted but it was a poop.

My 2 cousins and I were in a program called Indian Maidens and it was a father daughter thing.  These trips we always had great meals because our dads treated us like the princesses we are.  One trip a dad had brought a pizza oven that was placed over the the campfire.  Another trip us girls were swimming and a few of the dads had gone shopping.  We my dad and uncle come to the pool with the main meal and through it in the pool.  Everybody but me and my cousins rush out of the pool.  The girls out of the pool are crazy and the cousins and I are like "What they are just live Lobsters and they have bands around their claws."

Wait it gets better.  Let's go camping in Michigan on lots that we own on a lake.  Picture it 3 preteen and teenage girls camping on a site with no running water or electricity.  So that meant no toilets.  Well we were used to camping at a Jellystone with nice bathrooms.  My uncle and dad took an lawnchair and cut a hole and rig up a garbage bag.  That was the bathroom and it had rules.  If you pooped you had to change the bag or if it was too full you had to change it,  Then we had to haul it out.  So my aunt lost a bet or something and had to hold all the bags on top of the camper.  The bag leaked on her and no one wanted to drive with her for the 6 hour ride home.  

Peace out peeps.

To whom it may concern tell me not to do something/do not share

I'm one of those people when you tell me not to do something I'm going to do it.  Well as long as it's not dangerous.  But skydiving could be fun.  The wind flying up my nose and through my brain.  Not to mention the sand between my toes.  What there's no beach in the sky?  Whatevs in my world there is.

But really you post something on Social Media and ask people not to share.  Umm there are jackasses who will share it and because they like it.  You should be thrilled that your work is getting noticed.  If your worried put a watermark on it.  Stop being a whimp and not get offended get over your feelings.  

Also,  most people know when to post and when not to post.  Get some common sense and don't tell people not to post something when it has already been discussed it's a private event.  The goldfish in my brain even know that it doesn't belong on Facebook even if the hamster running on his wheel in your head doesn't.

Ok byeeeeee

To whom it may concern the Douche Canoes

 To whom it may concern the douche canoes.  Just because your offended by something that doesn't mean everyone else.  What if your offended by yourself?  Then what do you do.  I am offended by myself so do I report myself to the martians living on Neptune or Pluto.  Asking for a friend.