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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Visiting relatives during the holiday

Helpful tips for visiting family or friends during the holidays


  • ·        Don’t rearrange their linen closet.  We understand you want to help and put things away but just put them away and not rearrange everything.

  • ·        Flush the toilet after peeing.  You are not at your house and no one wants to see that.

  • ·        If you catch a cold while visiting don’t go wiping everything down with the paper towel you just blew your nose with.  Hell even without a cold don’t do that shit.

  • ·        Don’t ask a bunch of questions while they the hosts are walking out the door to go to work.  We will shut the door behind us while you are still talking on the inside.  My job pays my bills not your yappy mouth.

  • ·        We can take our purse and lunch bag to the car everyday and don’t need any extra help.  Really we are adults have have carried these light weight items for years with no issues.

  • ·        If your bored take the car and use GPS and go, see something.

  • ·        If you find a ginormous dildo that’s your fault for snooping and rearranging things.


Helpful tips for when family/friends visit

  • ·        Remember they will put thing away in the wrong places.

  • ·        They will rearrange things to fit their lifestyle with no cares about how you want your things or that you have adult toys hidden.

  • ·        If you don’t have any adult toys, go buy some and hide them.  It will more than likely discourage certain family members from ever visiting again.

  • ·        It’s temporary and they will leave soon.

  • ·        They will make you late for work. 


Just remember that there’s typically a double standard.  You go visit and change things around and expect your host to be ok but when its reversed you freak out.  


With a little respect of these rules the holidays would be so much better. If not a vibrator will end up in your bed.

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