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Sunday, January 14, 2018

A walk on the Fox River

When my parents come to town they rent a house because my brother and I do not have room in our places for them.  So they rent a house on the Fox River in St. Charles, Illinois for a few weeks.  Since it was so cold over the holidays the river froze so we took a walk.

Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Pine needles are mulitplying

Now that the tree is down the house still isn’t back together.  I have living room chairs in the dining room and not to mention no matter how many times I vacuum or sweep I still find pine needles all over.  Including in my bra and panties when I’m at work and there is no tree there.  I feel like I should super glue or duct tape all the needles on a tree prior to it coming into my house.  Because a needle in my bra is not fun.  I think it’ll be Easter and I’ll still be finding needles.  They are multiplying on their own at this point.  The parties they have during the day while I’m at work must be amazing since I find needles in the bathroom and the kitchen.  I need in on those parties.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

To the whiny asses complaining about the cold.

To the whiny asses complaining about the cold.

Yes, it’s cold.  That is the reason why they make clothes.  You put them on and not only do you cover your private bits but they keep you warm.  If you’re still cold there are coats, scarfs, hats and yes snowsuits.  Put them on and deal with it.  If you cannot deal with then stay home or move to another part of the country.  Those are your options.  So suck it up and put your big boy and girl pants on.

What hats mess up your hair?  Hate to tell you we are all walking around with goofy hat hair.  We don’t judge.  Snowsuit too bulky.  Who cares we all do the pottie dance when wearing it.

Thank you,

Mother nature and old man winter

Monday, December 25, 2017

Getting lost in a 2 block radius at the family Christmas party

My mom's side of the family celebrated Christmas on Saturday this year.  There are about 20 adults and 100 kids.  Ok maybe not that many kids.  But the total number of people is close to 30.  So my Aunt always had it the clubhouse in her subdivision.  Well, some of us decided to go back to my Aunts to help her unload all the food and stuff.  I follow my mom and stepfather who of course are driving a rental car with Florida plates.  Mind you its Illinois and cold out.  Well, on the way they pull over and I pull up to them asking them whats wrong.  Their winder has frost on it and they have no scraper and cannot figure how to work the heat.  They start searching the car for a scraper and I'm like hello take mine.  They then take care of the scraping and proceed to tell me to turn around because we are going the wrong way.  I'm like ok its one big circle but whatever its dark and the houses look all the same.  Yup it's a subdivision of townhouses.  I turn around and go in the circle and realize they are not behind me and I come upon them still going the same way we started.  I am at this point laughing so hard I almost peed myself because they tell me to turn around because they are going the right way.  Again its one big main circle and we got lost.  Needless to say it's another story for the Christmas story books.

Thursday, December 21, 2017

Totally prepared. I have a tree with lights on it.

Ok, I know I am not the only one behind the 8 ball on this whole Christmas thing.  People are all like I’ve been done shopping since May and it’s all wrapped and the house has been decorated since the 4th of July.  I’m sitting here like it’s December 21 and I have a tree that has lights on it.  What this isn’t normal?  This should make the rest of you feel better.  Wait I still have to shop for presents.  So here is a picture of the tree.

Monday, December 11, 2017

Roads trips should be recorded

After watching the past few episodes of Ozzy and Jack’s world tour, I want be in the backseat of one of their trips.  That would be a riot and I am not sure who would be rolling their eyes more me or them.  I’m sure I’d be my blonde self and they would drop the F bomb and I’d be on the floor laughing so hard I’d come close to peeing myself.

Then I had a vision of going on a trip with my friends’ D and J.  J would be driving since D and I would be laughing too hard at all the goofiness we feel the need to let flow out of our mouths.  While J is driving she’d be rolling her eyes at the 2 of us since she more serious than us 2.

Road trips growing up were always a blast especially on vacations.  My family would meet up with my cousins and Aunt and Uncle and we would drive down the highway making faces at each other.  What us kids had nothing else to do in the car back in the 70’s and 80’s.  One trip we had to dive 3 hours with the heat on in the middle of the summer my aunt and uncle’s car was overheating.  Yea my parents sent me on vacation with them and they had a broken car.  

My aunt would also have us sing show tunes until we started signing out of tune and she would roll her eyes and stop.

Friday, December 1, 2017

Uneventful Christmas letter

Dear Peeps,

It’s that time of year for the update on the family.

The fuzzy bunnies are still helping Buck the Gold Retriever with his fish grooming business on Pluto.  They have also started selling their coats that are made out of seaweed and they have expanding that to other plants such as Uranus and Mars.  Not to mention Earth.  So there are bunch of fish that have been all cleaned up and are wearing coats.  What they get cold now that they have no hair on them.

Billy Bob and some of the bunnies are still touring providing entertainment to the world and the universe.  Nothing beats a plastic toy dude with bunnies preforming a comedy act.  Ursula, his sister still runs an orange farm in Alaska shipping turnips and Brussel sprouts to Antarctica.  The twins Agnes and Augustus have bene doing hair and car repairs in Antarctica for the penguins and whales.  Their fins and feet get tired after swimming for days on end. 

I am still on earth physically but mentally I’m in blonde world.  Until next.

Only Yours,

The Blonde One