Sunday, December 30, 2018

Goals for the year or not

1.    Think before speaking
Really like this might happen every time. Have you people met my happy sparkly ass?  Some things just cannot be contained.  It’s just too dang funny to see people’s reaction to what comes out of my pie hole. 
2.    Investigate thoroughly before speaking or emailing on an issue
Like #1 this can be an interesting one. 
3.    Come up with more ideas
I have ideas galore.  They are like bologna on the outside of the door of the fridge.  Some stick and some flat on the floor.  In time, the ones that stick come to life and others morph into some other great idea that is better than a fish’s bellybutton.  What fish don’t have bellybuttons?  Someone better let them know.
4.    Get on a eating plan to loose weight
I’ve been on the see food diet so long not sure how this will work.  I see food and I eat it.  What? It all looks so fudging good.
5.    Blog more
Yes, I said it blog more.  I know you peeps have missed me like crazy over the past 6 weeks or so.  How do I know?  The crazy circus monkeys have told me and I have felt it.

All kidding aside I will work on some of these goals and focus more things to improve myself.  Because it's a new year and the monkeys are still playing with their Christmas presents.

Monday, December 24, 2018

Rudolph offends people but not KY jelly commericals

Let me get this straight you are getting offended by the show Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the song Baby It’s Cold, but  you are not by the KY Jelly and Viagra commercials that play during the day.  I’m confused because I don’t feel that kids should be seeing the commercials and the fact we all have listened and watch these songs and shows for years and years and we came out fine.  In fact Rudolph came out the hero in the show because he saved Christmas with his bright nose.  It’s all about how we interpret things.  Not everybody interprets things the same.

So suck it up buttercups because for 40+ years these have been on the airwaves. Not to mention the rest of us have to with your crazy monkey butt Viagra and KY jelly commercials just to name a few.  So get back to basics and enjoy the holiday.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Time and a place for everything and be respectful

Yes, there is a time and place for everything.  One of the items I have sold over the years is adult toys.  While they are not for everybody they are for some.  I respect everybody's decision on them and I know it can run deep with people.  Some feel that it all should be banned and others don't feel that way.  For me I knew there are boundaries.  I firmly believe in age limits to it and that the seedy shady places shouldn't be in a neighborhood with  a whole lot of kids.  I figure if you don't want to see that stuff then don't going into an adult store.  Yes, it is that easy.  But keep in mind kids will find away to see it so educate them on it.  Raise them to be respectful of it.

I won't talk about anything sexual in a public setting that has kids or older people.  This is not only out of respect for me but for them as well.  If people want to reach out to me to chat about the products I sell that is fine.  For me privacy is important for the person interested in them.  People don't need their business spread all over the place.  I don't say who's purchased from me.  If they want to pass along that I sell that is up to them and much appreciated.  I will tell people I sell if I know they are comfortable with it and are interested in it.

I respect all views on sex and adult toys.  For me it has been something I have been open about.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Yes my sparkly butt works 2 jobs SO get over yourself about it


Yes, I work 2 jobs.  At times I love it and other times I do not.  I do not tell all that goes on in my life because people are too damn judgmental.  Yes I said it.  Plus, do all you people really want to know when I pass gas, throw up, crack a joke, and how I put my socks on my hands.

I would rather you assume wrong and make an ass of yourself then for you to try to talk me into things that at the age of 47 I can decide for myself.  Did all of you go running and tell every little detail in your life?  I highly doubt it.  Because I don’t recall you all telling me when you changed your bra size or when you decided that said bra looked better on your feet.  So if I work 2 jobs then so be it.  It doesn’t matter if I have to or I enjoy it.

Oh and by the way.  My schedule doesn’t change.  So if you need to show up for something give me plenty of time to request if off or find someone to cover my shift.  Better yet schedule it on my day off.  Especially if it’s so important that you need my sparkly ass to show up.  Because it’s not all my fault if I cannot show up to things time and time again if you tell me 30 minutes prior.

OK that is all to the rant and raves of my life.  So judge away.  I’ll be off spreading sparkles and glitter all over the people that live on the moon and in the ocean.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

Get over your selves

Yea I am cranky at times, sometimes I'm even goofy.  As much as I try to be nice to all people sometimes you all get my last nerve.  Just because you have an item you'd like to return, that doesn't mean the store has to take it back if you used it.  Yes, I said it.  Now if said item doesn't work that a completely another story.  DEFECTIVE items fall into a different category than your scamming ways.  So get over selves as you are not entitled to returning just anything.  No one wants your used toilet seat or used shirt with the tag still on it.  The customer isn't always right.  Nope because shirts are not sold with big wine stains on them that smell of cheap ass nasty perfume and that have pit stains.  So since you wore it you are keeping it.  Not my issue, its yours because no-one taught you that it is just wrong to do that.  So get over your self and move on jackass.  You all are draining my sparkles so stop it.

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Now a break from our normally scheduled programming….TIME to shop


With how busy everybody is and how we all love to shop online, below are a few awesome sites to shop from.  You can get a wide variety of items from the sites below.  Needs toys for kids, check out Discovery Toys.  How about gem stones and jewelry check out Cheekers Crafts.  Love cookies check out The Cookie Garden.  Need some Garlic Garlic check out Tastefully Simple.  After all that don’t forget to spoil yourself with some adult toys and bath and beauty items.  Yes we need to spoil ourselves or the men in our lives need to. 

 
It’s the perfect time to start shopping for the holidays and by ordering through the following sites you are helping an individual bring some income into his/her house.  All sites ship across the United States.  Not ready to shop for the holidays then reward yourself for not going crazy over the summer or not overindulging by the pool.

Did I mention you can shop from the privacy from your own home?  What’s better than that?  Nothing I can think of except the beach or being rolled in sparkles.


https://www.pureromance.com/Kellymfleck

http://www.discoverytoys.com/pws/Beckyknol/tabs/pw-home.aspx



https://www.tastefullysimple.com/web/hmeyer2


****copy and past link if you can not able to click on it and be directed there****

Monday, August 13, 2018

Clueless and Floyd the alligator


You may think I’m clueless but I’m really not.  I do listen and I do watch the news.  Now I am not a news junky like some people, mainly because I like to have more than just one interest.  I watch enough to know what’s going on and to make sure the world is still here.  I know the news can be all consuming and I would drive myself insane watching the 60 new stations and listening to the 100 radio stations.  So I’ll watch enough to keep me weird and not insane.  Which to some people they are not sure which is better.  I do act clueless sometimes but because I prefer not to engage is some of the craziness out there.  Sometimes it best for all involved because a crazy blonde is not always fun.

So after watching a bit of news I’ll take Floyd the alligator out for a walk.  What, he needs exercise too.  We tend to end up at the alligator park so he can play with the other gators.  Since we have been going there for a while he has been discovered.  He now has a modeling contract for a hair color and makeup company.  Who knew this could happen?  I didn’t but I’m glad it did.  Now he can join the others on his journey and it adds to my wackiness of a life.

Friday, August 10, 2018

Get a clue jackass


Unless someone is dying why do you call 5 times in less than an hour?  Do you really think that will fix your problem any faster?  Well it won’t fix it faster.  All your doing to bugging the person fixing it and keeping others from doing their job since you call everybody and their brother in space.  So calm your titty hairs and let us do our thing so it can get fixed since you are not able to do it correctly the first time.

One other thing crazy kid, check your messages before calling back.  You’ll know who you need to ask for since I am not the mind reader of all minds or eyeballs for that matter.  I’d be happy to transfer you to the office that’s in the parking lot if you like.  Maybe one of the cars called you and wants your opinion on its color or new tires.

You cannot wait 5 minutes for me to make a call to verify that you’re financing won’t be affected, doing this return, but you’re willing to drive 20 minutes to another store to return something then you’re a scammer.  Yes, I said you’re a scammer because you just want a store credit for an online item that is not carried in the store.  Oh and by the way with store credit we need a license.  Too many returns and you can and will be turned down for future returns.  Then what smarty pants.  How are you going to scam then?  So don’t take it out on me because I am going by procedure and so is the manager.  Not to mention the system is set up the way it is by corporate then take your shit elsewhere.

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Me and charts in Excel equals a possible intervention


Some days I think I’m just an Excel junkie.  I created another spreadsheet to keep track of a few things and made a graph for the data too.  I was thinking why I didn’t do this 2 years ago when I started the position.  Then I realized I may be a little off because I like seeing data like this.  Some days I feel like I could make a spreadsheet for everything.  Like how many times people walk through the exit instead of the entrance or how many people stand there looking at the credit card machine with their card in their hand.  People it won’t process your card unless you put in it the credit card machine.  I know some of you are good at putting things in places,  How do I know I can see that your wife has 2 kids hanging on her with another one on the way.


I cannot make this shit up.  Wait I don’t have to I work with the public.  But back to my obsession to spreadsheets and charts.  If I start doing it every day I'll have to have an Excel intervention with myself and the goldfish in my head.

Monday, July 30, 2018

My brain does not have a microchip in it


Really you’re going to say thank you then hang up as I am in the middle saying you’re welcome.  Where is your phone etiquette?  Not to mention if you need something specific changed on an item.  Telling me with beads but not telling me the exact color is not our fault.  Especially if it comes with purple beads and you want us to change it to pink beads.  State that you want it changed to pink beads.  Not everybody that takes orders has over 1000 items memorized.

People slow down a little bit.  With all this technology we forgot that other people’s brains do not have any microchips in them.  We need to realize that others may need to research things if they don’t know off the top of their head.  For me I’d rather give them the time to research rather than give a half ass answer that’s only partly correct.  So if you’d rather have a half assed answer that’s fine because I will give it to you, but don’t turn it around on me.

Take a deep breath and enjoy life.  Because in the end you only have one. 

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Piercing fingers...what the fudge is wrong with us


Back in the day having your ears pierced once was a big deal.  Then when you had them done twice you were just cool.  I managed to get my pieced 5 times.  Yes, each ear.  I was in my 20s when I got my 4th and 5th and since then those have closed.  The next phases were the nose, bellybuttons, nipples and the private parts.  Really people the private parts.  No thank you.  If I am not pushing a baby the size of a watermelon out of it then I am not piercing it.  Not to mention something can get stuck on it or it will rip the condom and here comes the watermelon shooting out after that debacle.  Then the lips and eyebrows get pierced.  There’s chains hanging from these all over the body.

Now I’m seeing people getting their ring fingers pierced.  What the fudge?!?!  What you don’t want to wear a wedding band so you don’t get a tan line?  Tan lines are great.  What do you have against them?  They haven’t done anything to you.  So wear that ring peeps. 

What the fudge we were born with holes why are we adding hundreds more.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Vacation and a 20 year old computer with dial up internet

We've all been there, we get all worked up packing for vacation then cleaning the entire house before leaving.  We are up all night cleaning and packing.  Even going as far as taking the toothbrush out and scrubbing every surface.  Like what is going to happen?  A robber will break in and eat off of the bathroom floor.  Which we all know will not happen.  This trip I am leaving my house a mess so that it looks like I've been robbed already.  What?  The robbers would trash the place looking for any valuables I clearly do not have.  Because with my 20 year TV and computer it's obvious I have nothing.  Because who still uses a 20 year old computer that still has a dial up modem

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

A bug could push me over


I know I am not the only one completely exhausted and worn out.  I have been burning the candle at both ends.  Some days I feel like if a bug ran into me I’d fall over.

I’m working full-time and part-time, not to mention trying to get my Pure Romance business off the ground.  So I have been busy, not that, that is an excuse not to blog.  Getting out of my little box is hard.  Because I cannot really talk about my Pure Romance business at either job.  That is not appropriate or acceptable because those jobs are paying me to do their work.  Luckily, I have breaks and lunch hours to message people and post things on social media.  This does work wonders on getting the word out.  But I need to do more and get more comfortable going outside of my box.

We all have things that we have to do but how we spend our free time is up to us.  It’s a balancing act for sure.  But everything can be done once you put your mind to it and a little planning.  All in time and I can do it all and will have a great relaxing life.

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Short and sweet, Suck it UP


Suck It Up

Just because are breathing
Doesn’t mean you’re entitled
If you’re rude and have an attitude
Then you’re entitled to my attitude
Just keep this in the back of your head
Don’t dish it out if you cannot handle it

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

The New Journey


I started with Pure Romance because I want to help others and to replace my part time job.  I want to make my own hours as I make some extra money.  Plus, it will give me an opportunity to write about my experiences.  So come along and enjoy the ride.  I did just order some inventory so I can have some for parties that people will host. 


Whether you purchase or not from me it’s going to be a fun ride no matter what.  Because let’s face it working retail the stories are becoming repeats.  People cannot read when it says credit card payment only and try to put cash in the credit card machine and wonder why it won’t take it.  Or when I call to get a price and let the customer know and they walk all the way across the store to get the price.  Before they can even get back I have the price and waiting for them to get back to pay.  Really you didn’t have to walk I got what I needed before you even got to where you were going.  But whatever glad you have the time to waste 5 minutes when I was ready in 1 minute.



www.pureromance.com/kellymfleck

Monday, April 23, 2018

New Adventure

Because I love these products I decided to sell Pure Romance.  They carry some of the best lubes and adult toys around.  I sold once years ago but decided at the time to focus on my candle business.  So now I am back.  Why?  Because I love the products and love direct sales.  So once I get my site up I'll share it on twitter, facebook, google+ and of course here.

Sunday, April 22, 2018

This week in the blondes life

Highlights of the week in a blonde's life

Monday had a fight with the treadmill but the sock won.  How?  The sock gave the left blonde foot a blister.

Tuesday and Wednesay nothing, the blonde brain cell worked 12 hours.  It shut down for a while.

Thursday fought the sock and the treadmill the blonde won and stayed on the hamster wheel.

Friday watched the niece and nephew.  Only we can get kicked out of a park.  We were too quiet for being outside.

Saturday was another day in living the highlife putting in a hard days work.  Oh and joined Pure Romance as a consultant.

Sunday I think the one blonde brain cell will be checked out and on loan to the first taker.  


Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Your butt isn't made of gold, so change that roll of toilet paper


We have all been there.  We walk into the bathroom and there’s a roll of toilet paper sitting on top of the holder.  Come on people they keep the key in the holder.  How can you not change it?  Do you not change it at home?  I think some people think that there’s a bathroom fairy that will change the rolls.  If you use it replace it.  It’s a simple concept and let’s face it,  it's respectful to change it.

What’s worse is when there are 2 rolls sitting on top of a full holder.  It’s like what the frigging frack.  Are you too good to use what’s in the holder on your butt?  Is your butt made of gold?  If that’s the case, why are you pooping out of it.  Gold is a precious metal; your butt isn’t so change that roll of paper!

Monday, March 26, 2018

Shower curtain that holds phones and tablets....UHH NO thank you.


Really people!  Now you need a shower curtain that has pockets for your tablets and phones?  Is nothing sacred anymore?  I can picture it now, a whole bunch of nitwits will accidently take a video of themselves and post it on social media.  Then these same people will have their panties in an uproar and blaming everyone else.  Because they were too busy playing with their phones instead of washing their private bits.  They will also want all shower curtains to be banned and have regulations because their naked asses ended up on the internet.   So if you do not want your naked soapy asses on the internet then don’t play with your phone or tablet in the show.

If you want something to play with in the shower I’m sure you can still find some bath toys at Toys-R-Us at a great price.  Plus, they also make waterproof adult toys that you can use in the shower as well.  So you have lots of options if you don’t want your naked private bits on the internet.

So please do all of us a favor and don’t play with your phones and tablets in the shower.  I have a hard time looking at my naked ass in the shower and I sparkle.  So I really don’t want to see you plain ass self in the shower.  Unless you’re a 6-foot male who has 6-pack abs.  Now that’s a whole different story. 

Thursday, March 15, 2018

Because I am not doing enough

Like I am not doing enough but I have now joined a gym.  I figured I deal with stupid people daily I might as well go let off some steam and work out.  While I am there I'm sure I'll see more stupid shit. Why?  Because it's me and people like to show me their stupid shit.  Trading Spaces is back on TLC. What that was my squirrel moment?  Loved that show when it was on.

Now I have another thing to record the joys of DVR.  At least I don't have a ton of VHS tapes anymore.  Oh, wait those are under the bed.

So I am adding more to my every busy day.  But hey who needs sleep.

Monday, March 12, 2018

Why yes delivery companies play ding dong ditch


Really people you’re going to return your order because UPS just left it on your door step.  How long have you been ordering things?  Do you not realize that UPS and FedEx like to play ding dong ditch?  They ring your doorbell and ditch the package.  It’s common knowledge they do this with residential deliveries.  My advice is to call them and complain to them because it is out of our control here at the store.  Oh, you do not have time to call them but you can drive all the way to the store return your item.  Makes total sense to return it and have to go searching again for the item.    If you don’t want them to play ding dong ditch have your packages delivered to your place of work or put a note that they need a signature.  Better yet suck it up and deal with it.  Because you are creating way too much work for yourself.

Thursday, March 1, 2018

The extent of my creativeness


If monkeys were flying out of your nose you’d think I was weird.  But out of my butt you’d say I was hiding them from their elephant family.


That has been the extent of my creativeness over the past few weeks.  Why do you ask?  Well it’s not because I have been living the high life on some tropical beach in the Caribbean.  I have been working 56 hours a week, reading, binge watching The L Word on Netflix, and playing games on Pogo.com.  So I have been pretty mindless lately.  After the Olympics and the awful school shootings I have needed some mindless stuff to do. 

Friday, February 16, 2018

Just when you think the stupid people have all but gone away

All the stupid people have been in hibernating, Why, do you ask?  Because I have not encountered as many in my retail job.  Don’t get me wrong there are the ones who still try to return a used toilet that is the avocado green color that was popular in the 1970’s.  Umm yea no that one you cannot return.  What is it you say?  You just bought it.  Umm maybe back in 1972 via time travel.


Oh and I’m not a mind reader when you call to say you placed an order on the 12 and didn’t receive it how am I supposed to know that you received an order that was placed on the 14 when I start looking into orders placed on the 12.  Might help if you said I am trying to track an order I placed on the 12 that I haven’t received but did receive one that I placed on the 14.  Would have same you some aggravation.  Just saying.

Thursday, January 18, 2018

The weight loss journey

Change is never easy.  I have started tracking food and exercise again.  While I have been over a lot of days on food or didn’t finish tracking, the key is that I am doing something.  Now over the past few weeks I have given up Pepsi and pop tarts.  Part of me misses it and other part no.  The pop was giving me stomach issues so now that I don’t drink it I feel so much better.  The walking after my lunch has been helpful.  It’s 10 minutes that I wasn’t doing while I was at work.  I have also started doing the Leslie Sansone videos on days I am not working both my jobs.  Yes, it can be hard but it’s worth it. 


I am feeling better as each days goes by.  For me it makes me realize what I am eating and makes it easier to makes the changes little by little.  Whether you start big or little it doesn’t matter, it’s your journey.  Just know others are trying to loose weight too and may have similar experiences as you.  You are not in a competition with anyone else on this.  Take one big leap or baby steps we all are on our journeys and are willing to share our experiences.  

Sunday, January 14, 2018

A walk on the Fox River

When my parents come to town they rent a house because my brother and I do not have room in our places for them.  So they rent a house on the Fox River in St. Charles, Illinois for a few weeks.  Since it was so cold over the holidays the river froze so we took a walk.












Tuesday, January 9, 2018

Pine needles are mulitplying

Now that the tree is down the house still isn’t back together.  I have living room chairs in the dining room and not to mention no matter how many times I vacuum or sweep I still find pine needles all over.  Including in my bra and panties when I’m at work and there is no tree there.  I feel like I should super glue or duct tape all the needles on a tree prior to it coming into my house.  Because a needle in my bra is not fun.  I think it’ll be Easter and I’ll still be finding needles.  They are multiplying on their own at this point.  The parties they have during the day while I’m at work must be amazing since I find needles in the bathroom and the kitchen.  I need in on those parties.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

To the whiny asses complaining about the cold.

To the whiny asses complaining about the cold.

Yes, it’s cold.  That is the reason why they make clothes.  You put them on and not only do you cover your private bits but they keep you warm.  If you’re still cold there are coats, scarfs, hats and yes snowsuits.  Put them on and deal with it.  If you cannot deal with then stay home or move to another part of the country.  Those are your options.  So suck it up and put your big boy and girl pants on.

What hats mess up your hair?  Hate to tell you we are all walking around with goofy hat hair.  We don’t judge.  Snowsuit too bulky.  Who cares we all do the pottie dance when wearing it.

Thank you,

Mother nature and old man winter