Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Tinsel, car seats, and a duck

Looking back on my childhood and plus hearing the stories of my dad’s childhood it’s amazing anyone survived.  My dad and my uncle would talk about taking the tinsel off of the Christmas tree and making a ball out of it and throwing it at each other.  At first my grandma would get mad because they were ruining the tree.  Then she would put more on and the cycle would continue.  Once in a while when they did it she wouldn’t put any back on unless the family was coming over or it was Christmas morning.  Of course they played every sport they possibly could.  Mostly it was baseball, hockey, and football.   Of course the sports continued into their late 30s.  Of course it was all park district leagues at the point.

Then us kids came along.  Car seats were an optional thing or so it seemed.  Maybe they had just started using them for a month or 2.  Back in 1973 my parents and my aunt and uncle drove from Chicago into Missouri with my 6-month old cousin in a laundry basket on the floor of the backseat.  They my other cousin and I were roaming around the back of the station wagon.  Now mind you like my parents said there weren’t as many cars and people didn’t drive like jackasses like they do now.  Some of the best/scary stories are that of my cousin swallowing a quarter and my mom pinning a diaper to me.  My mom and aunt are like we were young and didn’t know anything.  My cousin and I are like you people were 22 years old.

Point is we survived and we have some good laughs at some of the things that happened to us.  Some kids don’t know what it is like to live in a 2-bedroom apartment in the city with your parents and a duck that lives in a playpen.  Then to have your aunt, uncle, and cousins in the apartment across the hall.  I do and I loved it.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Bon Jovi Excuse Letter

To Whom It May Concern:

Norma and Kelly are unable to come to work on March 27, 2017 because they were kidnapped by Bon Jovi.  No wait they ran away with the band.  Who are we kidding they are coming to work all tired after the concert on March 26, 2017.  But they had fun so they will be reliving the whole night all day long.

Thank You,

From the Fans

Friday, March 24, 2017

Trespassing. Not the brightest idea from the blonde

Growing up in the 1970’s and 1980’s one would think I would have done all the stupid things then.  Heck no.  Because in the 1990’s when I was in my 20’s I decided along with a few friends to go into an abandoned building.  Now this wasn’t just any abandoned building.  This was the old Ovaltine Factory in Villa Park, Il.  Now this was before they turned into apartments.  We went in, in the middle of the night on lovely spring day.  Mind you trespassing as an adult is probably worse than as a minor but we didn’t think of that.  Did we think about getting hurt?  Nope.  Lords knows we could have fallen through a floor.  We walked around for hours and even made it to the roof and walked around up there.

We were not the only ones roaming around.  There were others too and we all had flashlights.  If we were in the building of the building, we didn’t have to worry as much about people seeing the flashlights. But if we were near the windows we had to turn them off or point them towards the floor.  Of course once we got on the roof there was more light because there was a full moon and all the street lights below were still on.  It was pretty cool to be inside.  There were empty fill cabinets still in offices and all the old doors with glass panes on the top of the doors.  I would have loved to gone in when it was daylight.  Heck it would have been a sight when it was still open.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Stupid stick and fighting one blonde brain cell

This week has been a strain on the one blonde brain cell.  People have been sucking the life out of that little guy.  I don’t know if it knows what smacked the silliness out of it.  It could be the stupid people at the retail place I work or customers I talk too at my day job.  Seems like the stupid stick slapped these people because they want me to not charge tax or anything for their items.  Hello, people I am not in charge of taxes.  If you are so inclined, you may call the White House and see if they will waive your sales tax.  Because that is a fight I am not taking on.  I have enough of a fight with the one blonde brain cell.  Just saying.

The fight with the one blonde brain cell is real.  It is because there is just one, so it is always punching itself.  It’s quite a site from the inside of the brain.  The little hands have purple sparkly boxing gloves and it wears lime green boxing trunks.  So every once in a while I see a flash of purple or lime when it is beating itself up because it’s dancing around the head and there’s a whole lot of room in there.

Monday, March 20, 2017

Waking up at the butt crack of dawn and beaches

You could say I’m a little spoiled when it comes to getting up in the morning.  I start my full-time job at 9:30 am, so I am getting up at 7 or 7:30 am.  It’s quite nice actually and since I live less than 10 minutes away I am even more spoiled.  Plus, I get off of work at 6:00 pm so I am home by 6:10 pm.  So when I have to be at my part-time job at 6 am it’s a little hard to wake up before the birds do.  Now my part-time job is 5 minutes away from home so that does make it a little easier but when I’m driving over there the birds haven’t even stirred from their nests and they haven’t even thought of coffee yet.  Heck they haven’t dreamed of their morning worm.  At that time of the morning all I’m thinking/dreaming about sleep.  Especially since there are nights were I work until 10:30 pm.

So I will suck it up and deal with it.  Plus, when I leave at that time of the morning there are no cars out on the road.  Which is a huge plus because no one will see the toothpicks keeping my eyes open or the huge amounts of sand still in my eyes.  Some mornings that sand could fill an entire Caribbean beach.  So let’s bring out the beach towels and chairs and have a few tropical drinks.  Not to mention the beach ball.  We have to have a ball to loose so the hot looking guys have to come bring it to us.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Giraffes and high heels

This whole waiting for a giraffe giving birth is getting old.  I’m tired of seeing the link on my page daily.  Really people if you want to see a giraffe give birth just find YouTube video.  You could also watch the animal planet channel.  I’m all for watching something nice and fluffy because the news gets so old.  But come on enough with the giraffe.  Everybody has the link now and knows where to go to watch.  Not to mention that it will be big news once she pushes that baby out because it has gone viral.

Now you know what’s funny to watch?  Runway models falling in their 2-foot-high shoes.  Now you are supposed to be professionals and know how to walk in high heels.  Someone like me will not know how to walk in them so you should see me walking down the runway falling over the place.  Heck if I wore heels that are more 1 inch high I’m falling down just by standing there. Not to mention no matter how high the heels are I will never be as tall as a giraffe.

Speaking of giraffes and high heels. I wonder what it would look like if a giraffe wore high heels.  Not just a plain pair of heels but heels in various colors and they have sparkles on them.  They could have a silver sparkly pair for the front feet and a purple pair of sparkly for the back.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The blonde making a phone call

I get to work yesterday and try to call my boyfriend to let him know I’m safe and he never answered.  So I call again in a few and still no answer.  I of course didn’t let it go to voice either time.  So I pull out my phone to check text message and see 2 missed phone calls.  I’m like who is calling me.  Now you probably can see where this is going.  So I call the number back because I’m thinking someone is really trying to get a hold of me.  A coworker answers and she’s like aren’t you sitting at your desk.  Oops, I am sitting at my desk.  You guessed it I was calling my own cell phone.  Go figure I am a blonde.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Ducks, squirrels, monkeys and Bon Jovi

Some people have their ducks in a row, I do not.  Squirrels, who knows what mine are doing and I am nowhere near a circus with monkeys to claim they are not mine.  If I had a circus it would have drunk monkeys in it.  They would probably escape and roam around throwing sprinkled donuts at everybody.  I think I have cute puppies and fairies sprinkling fairy dust all over to keep everybody else’s drunk ass monkeys away from me and my peeps.  As far as other people’s squirrels, they appear to be afraid of my purple sparkly squirrels so they stay far away from mine.

What I do have, is Bon Jovi tickets for their show in Chicago at the end of march.  But there will be no squirrels taking my attention away from the show or drunk monkeys throwing pudding around.  Because it is Bon Jovi of course and everybody’s attention will be on the band.  Heck at this point all of us fans can put on a concert for them as we know all the words.  So all you people please leave your monkeys and squirrels at home.  They can throw balls there at each other.

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

A few poems

A Girl and A Hippo
There once was a girl
Who walked around town
She always had a cloud of sparkles around her
And a purple hippo in tow

What Did You See
What’s that you say
You saw a lime green elephant
Walking down the street with a garden on its back
And a sheep throwing confetti following him

I Think You Can You See That
Hey, do you see that
Over there by the wall
Yes, over there by the purple brick wall
Open your stupid eyes and look
How can you not see it, it’s huge
It’s a  big pool of beer

Thursday, March 2, 2017

Hey, Event Planners listen up

To all those who plan events.  Please keep in mind that vendors talk.  If you cancel too many events and don’t refund money, you will get a bad name.  Listen to what vendors and other even planners say.  This feedback will help make future events better and you will have more luck getting vendors.  Just because you get advice it doesn’t mean you have to take it.  But it should be in the back of your mind.  Note you will not make everyone happy.  Just make sure you do what you say. You want to build trust between you and the vendors and customers.  This will create a better environment and will create loyalty.  In the end whether it’s busy or not, you and the vendors are making connections with each other and with you.  This will help your business in the long run because people will remember you and they may refer people to you and to other vendors at the event.  Not every vendor will promote the event.  Some feel that is the event planners job and other vendors like their customer base to know where they will be.  Don’t make it mandatory that they share the event.  By making it mandatory it gives the feeling that you the planner is not doing any advertising and don’t care about the event.

Oh yea, don’t go blocking vendors when they are asking questions.  They are just trying to get more information from you to see if their product would be a good fit.  Plus, most vendors have been doing events for years and know bullshit when they hear it.  By blocking them because you don’t like the questions they are asking makes you look bad and don’t think they won’t talk.  Because they will.  Heck some of us will watch certain event planners because they are on track to being a train wreck.

Also, start with smaller venues.  This will help build a loyalty and a good following.  Planning events takes time and a lot of work.  Have patience and don’t air your complaints on social media about how vendors are acting or any difficulties you are having.  You take it up directly in private with the vendor or customer.  I have been on both ends, I have been an event planner and a vendor at events.  I have learned a lot and could go on for a very long time talking about what I have learned.