Wednesday, August 2, 2017

The back to school glitter storm

With of all the folders in the air you can always tell what aisle has the school supplies.  The back to school aisle in stores nowadays is just crazy.  The supply lists are as long as a novel.  It’s like a war zone with the way parents are fighting, throwing pencils and scissors in the air amongst a cloud of glitter.  Add a little glue and everything will sparkle with glitter.  Parents are trying to glue each other to the floor with Elmer’s glue like there’s no tomorrow keeping each other away from the 16 inch binders with the kitty cat picture on the front.  Nowadays kids need like twenty 24 inch binders and a calculator that is more like a computer.  People there is no reason to fight over a blue pen when there a trillion to choose from.  If there is not enough then get your happy ass in the car and go to another store.  Oh better yet, wait for it, order it all online!

Back in the day I was lucky to have 1 pencil that had an eraser.  Usually it was the one from the previous year.  This pencil would be like ¼ inch and was a pain to write with.  No wonder why my handwriting is awful.  Kleenex what was that.  We either used toilet paper or our sleeves.  What our immune systems were a lot better that the kids today and we didn’t have to have Kleenex for the entire classroom.  We had 1 bottle of Elmer’s glue and if you used it on your hands and peeled it off then you didn’t have any glue for your projects that your parents so proudly displayed on the fridge of shame.

We had 1 desk to fit out stuff in, not a U-Haul to keep our stuff in.  I don’t see how kids are carrying these ginormous backpacks around with everything including the kitchen sink in them.  I was lucky to have a paper bag to carry my things in.  If that bag got wet that was another issue because I’d have to balance books on my head and my left foot and hand to carry them all home.  Which was a step from by parents’ day who had their great uncle Harvey’s worn belt to carry their books to school.

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