Chicago in January

Hey, people!  Yes, is cold outside.  Not to mention there is snow on the ground with more coming.  What did you knuckle heads expect during the winter season in Chicago?  Did you think we would be making sandcastles on the beach instead of snowman?  It's not like this is St. Lucia in the Caribbean.

Weekend getaway and saying bust instead must

I am leaving for Cancun Mexico on Friday for a long weekend.  My cousin is getting married and of course I am trying to fit all my clothes in a carry-on.  It's like a clown car but in luggage form.  My family is like you need some outfits.  Umm, it's a wedding on a beach.  I need 1 outfit and a bathing suit. Of course I have some outfits for the weekend I'm not that clueless.  I just sparkle all the time.

It should be a great time up until I do my reading at the wedding.  If I could I would do it in snapchat.  Hey I am good at that because there are filters that make my face and voice funny.  I'll be ok because it not like I'm in the 8th grade again and I say bust instead of must during a required speech.  I just remember saying it and I for the life of me cannot remember what the speech was about.

Goals for the year or not

1.    Think before speaking

Really like this might happen every time. Have you people met my happy sparkly ass?  Some things just cannot be contained.  It’s just too dang funny to see people’s reaction to what comes out of my pie hole. 

2.    Investigate thoroughly before speaking or emailing on an issue

Like #1 this can be an interesting one. 

3.    Come up with more ideas

I have ideas galore.  They are like bologna on the outside of the door of the fridge.  Some stick and some flat on the floor.  In time, the ones that stick come to life and others morph into some other great idea that is better than a fish’s bellybutton.  What fish don’t have bellybuttons?  Someone better let them know.

4.    Get on a eating plan to loose weight

I’ve been on the see food diet so long not sure how this will work.  I see food and I eat it.  What? It all looks so fudging good.

5.    Blog more

Yes, I said it blog more.  I know you peeps have missed me like crazy over the past 6 weeks or so.  How do I know?  The crazy circus monkeys have told me and I have felt it.

All kidding aside I will work on some of these goals and focus more things to improve myself.  Because it's a new year and the monkeys are still playing with their Christmas presents.

Rudolph offends people but not KY jelly commericals

Let me get this straight you are getting offended by the show Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer and the song Baby It’s Cold, but  you are not by the KY Jelly and Viagra commercials that play during the day.  I’m confused because I don’t feel that kids should be seeing the commercials and the fact we all have listened and watch these songs and shows for years and years and we came out fine.  In fact Rudolph came out the hero in the show because he saved Christmas with his bright nose.  It’s all about how we interpret things.  Not everybody interprets things the same.

So suck it up buttercups because for 40+ years these have been on the airwaves. Not to mention the rest of us have to with your crazy monkey butt Viagra and KY jelly commercials just to name a few.  So get back to basics and enjoy the holiday.

Time and a place for everything and be respectful

Yes, there is a time and place for everything.  One of the items I have sold over the years is adult toys.  While they are not for everybody they are for some.  I respect everybody's decision on them and I know it can run deep with people.  Some feel that it all should be banned and others don't feel that way.  For me I knew there are boundaries.  I firmly believe in age limits to it and that the seedy shady places shouldn't be in a neighborhood with  a whole lot of kids.  I figure if you don't want to see that stuff then don't going into an adult store.  Yes, it is that easy.  But keep in mind kids will find away to see it so educate them on it.  Raise them to be respectful of it.

I won't talk about anything sexual in a public setting that has kids or older people.  This is not only out of respect for me but for them as well.  If people want to reach out to me to chat about the products I sell that is fine.  For me privacy is important for the person interested in them.  People don't need their business spread all over the place.  I don't say who's purchased from me.  If they want to pass along that I sell that is up to them and much appreciated.  I will tell people I sell if I know they are comfortable with it and are interested in it.

I respect all views on sex and adult toys.  For me it has been something I have been open about.

Yes my sparkly butt works 2 jobs SO get over yourself about it

Yes, I work 2 jobs.  At times I love it and other times I do not.  I do not tell all that goes on in my life because people are too damn judgmental.  Yes I said it.  Plus, do all you people really want to know when I pass gas, throw up, crack a joke, and how I put my socks on my hands.

I would rather you assume wrong and make an ass of yourself then for you to try to talk me into things that at the age of 47 I can decide for myself.  Did all of you go running and tell every little detail in your life?  I highly doubt it.  Because I don’t recall you all telling me when you changed your bra size or when you decided that said bra looked better on your feet.  So if I work 2 jobs then so be it.  It doesn’t matter if I have to or I enjoy it.

Oh and by the way.  My schedule doesn’t change.  So if you need to show up for something give me plenty of time to request if off or find someone to cover my shift.  Better yet schedule it on my day off.  Especially if it’s so important that you need my sparkly ass to show up.  Because it’s not all my fault if I cannot show up to things time and time again if you tell me 30 minutes prior.

OK that is all to the rant and raves of my life.  So judge away.  I’ll be off spreading sparkles and glitter all over the people that live on the moon and in the ocean.

Get over your selves

Yea I am cranky at times, sometimes I'm even goofy.  As much as I try to be nice to all people sometimes you all get my last nerve.  Just because you have an item you'd like to return, that doesn't mean the store has to take it back if you used it.  Yes, I said it.  Now if said item doesn't work that a completely another story.  DEFECTIVE items fall into a different category than your scamming ways.  So get over selves as you are not entitled to returning just anything.  No one wants your used toilet seat or used shirt with the tag still on it.  The customer isn't always right.  Nope because shirts are not sold with big wine stains on them that smell of cheap ass nasty perfume and that have pit stains.  So since you wore it you are keeping it.  Not my issue, its yours because no-one taught you that it is just wrong to do that.  So get over your self and move on jackass.  You all are draining my sparkles so stop it.