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Thursday, December 17, 2015

My Underachieving Christmas Letter


It has been an interesting year.  All the kids and creatures are doing wonderfully.  They are all out of the house and living is some type of house structure or in a matchbook.

Billy Bob is slowly coming out of hiding and showing up in pictures.  He’s thinking of going into standup and going on tour.  He is tired of being locked up in a purse or left somewhere.  His sister Ursula has felt the need to go to Alaska and open an Orange Farm.  She thinks it will be very successful because it is costly to ship fresh Turnips and Brussel Sprouts there.   Her Financial Accounting Doctorate will be useful in this field.  The twins Agnes and Augustus are going to Antarctica to raise Butterflies and Roses.  They want to spread some color in an area that is so white.   They will take online classes to learn how to do hair and car repairs so they can add that service to the area.  Both services are very much in demand in the area amongst the penguins and seals.

Since completing the 4th grade, Buck the Golden Retriever, he runs a fish grooming business on Mars.  He has become very busy and has a lot of clients.  He has a nice house on the dark side of Mars and is very happy.  Skippy the Iguana is floating around space looking for space garbage to send back to other planets for recycling.  He has found a lot of garbage but not a lot of places to take it to recycle.  So he’s thinking about changing his colors and doing something else.

As for me, I’m working a full time normal job and trying to keep circus of kids and creatures away from fuzzy bunnies and the chairs.  I have recently purchased a dirt farm so I place to retire to and run in my purple years.  I am looking forward to being able to grow some dirt and supply the universe with it.

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