Dinner show or driving in traffic

The other morning I was on my way to work and was stopped at a stop sign. The lady behind me was doing all sorts of hand gestures. I wasn’t sure if she was putting on a dinner show, trying to get me to go through a red light or something else. Then I realized she was on the phone. Do people really think the persons on the other end can see their hand gestures. I think not unless they were using 2 cups connected by 2 feet of string.  She was going 500 miles an hour with hand gestures. She could have been trying to fly her car instead of drive it. I think she was driving with her toes since her hands weren’t on the wheel once we started moving. 

Either bat shit crazy or lack of self esteem

Just because your husband talks to a female doesn’t mean that he is banging said female.  In today’s world males and females work together and they do have to communicate with each other.  Most of the time it is during work hours, but occasionally there are times when they must talk outside of work.  Now I do not know every type of job out there but if you are working in the IT field you may need to talk to each other if there is a project going on or a data outage. 

So, there is no need to stalk the females your husband talks to.  By doing so you could be causing him trouble at work, putting him at risk of losing his job, etc.  Any issues should be addressed with your man.  Because he was the one possibly cheating on you and if you are that insecure then maybe you need to work on you and your damn trust issues.  Not to mention your high school drama needs to be put into check.  So go and deal with your damn hot mess of yourself and move on.

Kiawah Island trip

Brain cells and hairspray in the 1980s

I may be blonde but I was born with all my brain cells.  No really, I was.  While I have had blonde moments my entire life the alcohol in my 20’s didn’t kill any brain cells.  How do I know this?  Because I was a teenager in the 80’s and I graduated high school in 1989.  I had big permed hair that stayed in place with half a can of aerosol hairspray.  Now I didn’t use Aquanet, because that would only hold the hair during a tornado.  I used Vavoom extra-full freezing finishing spray by Matrix.  My hair could withstand a category 5 hurricane.  So, it was the hairspray that did it.  Now my hair would stay put all day once I sprayed in the morning, but I was in a hairspray fog all day.  That shit could get you high.  Now you couldn’t just style your hair and spray it with hairspray.  Nope there was teasing involved and a hairdryer to dry the hairspray.  What?  That helped hold the wings of your hair 6-12 inches away from your head.  Any time you walked into the girl’s bathroom there was a fog of hairspray.  Heck you could walk past the girl’s bathroom and get high.  Who needed drugs when there was hairspray?

 

 

The 2 pictures posted are from 1989 and 1990.

I think it’s time, just saying

If you have to apologize for that static on your phone, I think it’s time for a new phone.

If you have to come off of the phone in a call center to organize papers, I think it’s time for a new job.

If you cannot use a turn signal when changing lanes, I think its time to stop driving.

If you keep posting pictures of engagement rings and he’s not getting the hint, I think its time for a new boyfriend.

If you are offended by any of these, I think you need to put your big boy/girl pants on and suck it up.

Suck it up boys and girls it’s summer

Yes boys and girls it’s summer. You know what that means. Hot humid swap ass weather. You don’t like it. Wait 7 months and it’ll be below zero and you’ll be hiring your house down for heat. Maybe you should have kept some of that snow to cool your house. It could have come in handy to fill the pool to go sledding in. What that would be funnier than shit.

Shit Gramps Says

While driving through the 55+ community I live in with my 94 year old grandfather we drive past the community baseball field.  He proceeds to say this is where the old fogies play ball.  They just are not allowed to slide into the bases.  I look at him for a second and go back to driving shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

Then during a car ride we could hear someone’s music from 2 cars behind us. Mind you our windows closed with air on. He says that person will have worse hearing then me when he’s my age.   I sat there thinking ummm gramps you have hearing aids. 

He’s so cute and I know where I get my blonde moments from and he’s not blonde.  He has been keeping busy making crosses that he gives out at church and signs for me to paint/chalk on so I can sell them