Things I should say

From the way your chewing with your mouth open and making noises, I am going to guess you were raised by cows.

Your not a door so don't stop in the middle of an aisle or when you walk through an entrance.

Is that frown permanently stuck on your face?

Duct tape is a wonderful thing?  You should use some on your mouth to stop the whining.

Didn't your mother teach you, if you have nothing nice to say then lock your mouth and throw away the key?

Call your mothership to take you home.

I like you just fine, I just don't like your drama.

I'm not better than you; I'm just the most awesome person you know.

Are you an elephant or were you raised by them?  Because I can feel the vibrations on the floor before you walk past.

Hey, was that a red bee flying by your head. Oops nope that must have been in mind.

Yep I'm the favorite.  Oh wait I say that already.

Sometimes I think your working a drama TV show with all the shit you start.

Excuse me, where you talking to me or your other personality?

I know I'm a little strange but what's your excuse?

Nope speeding past me on your motorcycle doesn't do a thing for me other than laugh at how cool you think are but not.

Do you really think I care?

Get off your ass and do your job!

The only excuse is that you'd rather make them up to make yourself look better then those who actually do something.