Brain cells and hairspray in the 1980s

I may be blonde but I was born with all my brain cells.  No really, I was.  While I have had blonde moments my entire life the alcohol in my 20’s didn’t kill any brain cells.  How do I know this?  Because I was a teenager in the 80’s and I graduated high school in 1989.  I had big permed hair that stayed in place with half a can of aerosol hairspray.  Now I didn’t use Aquanet, because that would only hold the hair during a tornado.  I used Vavoom extra-full freezing finishing spray by Matrix.  My hair could withstand a category 5 hurricane.  So, it was the hairspray that did it.  Now my hair would stay put all day once I sprayed in the morning, but I was in a hairspray fog all day.  That shit could get you high.  Now you couldn’t just style your hair and spray it with hairspray.  Nope there was teasing involved and a hairdryer to dry the hairspray.  What?  That helped hold the wings of your hair 6-12 inches away from your head.  Any time you walked into the girl’s bathroom there was a fog of hairspray.  Heck you could walk past the girl’s bathroom and get high.  Who needed drugs when there was hairspray?

 

 

The 2 pictures posted are from 1989 and 1990.

I think it’s time, just saying

If you have to apologize for that static on your phone, I think it’s time for a new phone.

If you have to come off of the phone in a call center to organize papers, I think it’s time for a new job.

If you cannot use a turn signal when changing lanes, I think its time to stop driving.

If you keep posting pictures of engagement rings and he’s not getting the hint, I think its time for a new boyfriend.

If you are offended by any of these, I think you need to put your big boy/girl pants on and suck it up.

Suck it up boys and girls it’s summer

Yes boys and girls it’s summer. You know what that means. Hot humid swap ass weather. You don’t like it. Wait 7 months and it’ll be below zero and you’ll be hiring your house down for heat. Maybe you should have kept some of that snow to cool your house. It could have come in handy to fill the pool to go sledding in. What that would be funnier than shit.

Shit Gramps Says

While driving through the 55+ community I live in with my 94 year old grandfather we drive past the community baseball field.  He proceeds to say this is where the old fogies play ball.  They just are not allowed to slide into the bases.  I look at him for a second and go back to driving shaking my head and rolling my eyes.

Then during a car ride we could hear someone’s music from 2 cars behind us. Mind you our windows closed with air on. He says that person will have worse hearing then me when he’s my age.   I sat there thinking ummm gramps you have hearing aids. 

He’s so cute and I know where I get my blonde moments from and he’s not blonde.  He has been keeping busy making crosses that he gives out at church and signs for me to paint/chalk on so I can sell them

The move is done, hotter than heck, and telemarketers

The move is finally done. I’m all settled in with my 94 year old grandfather. Now if you live in Illinois you know that we haven’t had too many warm days.   But it hasn’t been cold enough to keep the heat on, except in this community. You see my grandfather lives in a 55 plus community. It’s not a bad thing even for a 48 year old. But it’s warmer than hades in here. Some days I think I’m going through the change. Which is not the case at the moment.   So a friend of my gave me a little portable air cooler which really just puts water in the air like a humidifier. I keep my window open the ceiling fan on high.

We all know telemarketers are a pain in the butt. So when it comes to them calling the house if they don’t identify themselves grandpa won’t talk to them. Nor does he hang up on them. What does he do you ask?  Good question he just puts the phone down and goes about his business. Once he hears the dial tone he puts the phone back on the hook. I finally put home on the do not call list which takes all the fun out of hearing them talk to dead air.

The air cooler and breakfast that grandpa cooked.

The Big Move and Chalking

On June 1 I have to be out the apartment I currently live in.  My boyfriend, who is 12 years older then me  has retired from being an union carpenter. He had a sister in Tennessee and he wanted to move there. So in the mean time I’m going to move in with my grandpa. So while he’s down there I will stay behind and work and live in a 55 and older community and I’m only 48. They have some great amenities there and let’s face it I’ll have quality time with my grandpa.

So the 45 minute drive will be worth it. The packing hasn’t been fun but the donating of useless junk is great. I will actually end up with a crafting area to do my crafts. Actually I only do Chalk Couture. It’s awesome. You pick a surface, then a vinyl and finally pick out your chalk paste.  Put it all together and you get a great looking sign.

So while he’s having fun I’ll be working and making signs.  Oh and pool time.

www.chalkcouture.com/chalkingblonde

Learn some phone manners

People it’s not hard to identify who you are when calling someone. Oh hanging up when someone is in mid sentence. Really where you raised in an ant farm. Because it sounds like you were raised with the sea monkeys.

Not to mention when do I have to ask you 10 questions when to find out why the hell you want when you called me.